1) Under no circumstances should you use the toilet before you set off, no matter how many times mummy asks you...even if you are desperate. You need to wait to announce your need for the toilet when the car has just entered the motorway
2) Ensure you drain the battery's on your/mummy's iPad or tablet just before you set off, otherwise you'll have nothing to moan & whinge about for 2 hours
3) When asked to choose a drink to take with you, ensure you choose your least favourite drink, otherwise you'll have no excuse to kick mummy's seat in temper throughout the entire journey because you "don't like" your drink. Same goes for snacks.
4) No matter how tired you are whilst travelling, remain wide awake until 20 seconds before you reach your destination.
5) Remember to say "are we there yet?" and "where we going now?" repeatedly. Every 1 minute should be satisfactory
6) Check that mummy has put the child locks on by firmly yanking on the door handle several times. Use both hands if necessary. Once satisfied you should wind the window up and down until the window gets jammed
7) Moan that you're cold because you wound the window down
8) Moan that you're hot because mummy wound the window back up
9) Make it clear that you do NOT like wearing a seatbelt. Yank it, twist it, try and chew it off
10) When you arrive at your destination announce that you want to go home
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