Mr P. Doh
I'm sure you feel extremely pleased with yourself for inventing the monstrosity that is Play Doh.
Tell me, was it your intention to create something that was 100% guaranteed to give every mother in the world a nervous breakdown?
Surely you must have considered the possible catastrophes of your invention coming in to contact with fibres such as carpet, rugs, or hair? No?
And what about all them bright colours you designed for your creation! Bold pinks, greens and blues. Did you fully think through what may happen to them when they are mixed? And how we are supposed to cope with that? Did you have any idea that these eye catching colours would eventually just turn in a murky, distasteful grey/green? And how are we then to decipher which pot the Play Doh goes back in to when it no longer resembles it's original colour?
Your lack of consideration here is evident in your Play Doh Ice Cream Shoppe edition, where those lovely edible colours are mixed in to one, puke coloured sundae from hell. Us parents are then forced to eat it with a tiny plastic spoon, whilst the kids go off and tread the faux whipped cream that fell off the top, in to our carpet as they leave the room to "get more."
No, you didn't think that through did you?
Have you actually ever been forced to play with Play Doh in a homely environment? Have you ever had to scrape Play Doh from underneath a child's finger nails? Or try and pick it out of a squirming toddlers hair?
I'm guessing if you had then you would have made the bold decision to recall ALL Play Doh immediately, without a moments hesitation.
It's THE DEVIL
One has never felt impending doom like when your four year old approaches you & asks the dreaded question "can we get the Play Doh out?" And believe me, stuffing it in the closet, piling blankets over it and sprinkling a circle of holy water round it can not protect you from it's wrath. I've tried.
Did you plan this? Because it's quite apparent that Play Doh is NOT a toy. It's a crime. It should be illegal, and you my friend should be arrested.